LISTS AND MORE LISTS

Remembering back to my very first entry into this blog, even though it was just three short entries ago. I mentioned that the "road" was paved with good intentions. Well, if that road is to hell, I have had enough intentions this week to pave it there and back again, and again. After all it so easy to let those intentions slip in, get all comfy cozy and be good with it. There they are, making themselves right at home before you know it.

I have a good excuse, as always, here it is.....I went to Eugene with my mom to visit my great aunt (age 85) and my great uncle (age 90). (Is that good enough?) In the meantime, I made lists. Lists of what needs to be done, lists of what should be done, and what will be done when I get home. I made Michael a list. I sure that he didn't appreciate it much, but it was a short list. Only six or seven items on it. He's lucky, I have many, many long, long lists. He only got one, he should be thankful.

Of all of the lists I made, I should of double checked the packing list. We went for three days and I only packed for two. This presented a problem, that should of been a sign. I never made it to go shopping to solve this problem. When you are traveling with the over eighty crowd, there is just not enough time. They moved very slowly. V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y (Sorry mom). And they deserve to move slowly. But it can be frustrating to us who don't move slow. (I wonder if this is how my daughter sees me? Oh, god!) During all this slow getting around we did visit and the three of them reminisced about their childhood, work stories, war stories and in general life stories. They talked about family I never met and now wished I could of. It was enlightening. I found that by taking the time and listening to them, it made them happy and in turn made me happy. As I listened I still made lists (guilty conscience, damn voices). I did have a good visit and dinner with my granddaughter and her mom. They also live in Eugene. I applied my lesson learned and found the same results. Happy.

After three days gone and only one day at home, I got not one single item on any of my lists organized. Nope, nada, nothing, zilch. Very unhappy voices. I did do some things, just nothing that could be technically classified as organizational. Is that a word? I worked at my real job, forty hours. And did the other usual house type things that have to be done, laundry, cleaning, etc. Not one bit of organizing or clearing crap. But I have my lists. On those lists are all of my hopes and schedules for next week. I will throw out all the good intentions that have moved in. I will be determined, strong and complete a task. Organize the unorganized masses, calm the voices, clear the crap.

Next week, less lists, more totes (they are still on sale), more work and I am sure more surprises. Until then.

Memory Lane

I thought my task this time would be a larger one, but it ended up being a couple of smaller projects. Here goes......THE DREADED JUNK DRAWER! (This is where the scary music should be inserted.) And to be totally honest, in my case, drawers. Every kitchen has a junk drawer. The place where you toss all that you really don't know what to do with, but don't want to throw out at the moment. Take out menus, small tools, grocery coupons, assorted nails and screws, matches and whatever else is on the counter at the time that company pops in. It's the drawer that never closes without a struggle or an item falling out. The drawer that most of the time is the first place you look for some small item that you can't find. A nail to hang a picture or a magnet to secure an appointment card or something similar to the front of your refrigerator. You know the place, and don't say that you have never been there. We all have.
The first drawer was never intended to be permanent. It started out as someplace to put tools, screws and pieces of things that might be needed while we were (are) still working on the installation of our new kitchen. That's where a lot of things went at the end of the day, when we were through working and we wanted it out of sight. That way they were handier the next day to start all over again. (Why would you even think of putting them back where they belonged?) Sadly, it has grown to much more than that and also, sadly, there is still some work left to be done on the kitchen. (At least I'm not washing dishes in the utility sink anymore.)
It was time to open the drawer and face the music. No more tools in the drawer, they will be banished to the tool box where they belong and also easier to find. Imagine that. I realized, halfway through this that, by doing this it would most likely prolong the finishing of the odds and ends that still needed done, but, I was willing to take that risk for the peace of mind that it would bring to me and my voices. So I sorted and removed miscellaneous tools, nails, tapes, hammers, screwdrivers. I found "my" tools at the bottom of this mess. You know the ones that are bright pink with a floral print? Also the ones that I searched for and accused people of "borrowing". Don't laugh, doesn't everyone have dainty tools? And I thought nobody would want to use them, I was wrong.
After, what seemed like an eternity, I also started on the second drawer. Remember, two drawers. Who in their right mind would complete one before starting the other? In that drawer, I found much of the same including, batteries that I'm not sure are new or old, paper clips, rubber bands and all the informational pamphlets that come with all the kitchen appliances and smaller gadgets, vacuums, mixers, blenders, toasters, etc., etc. Some of these I'm sure that I don't even own anymore, I will know more about that when I get to the cupboards. Surprisingly, even this small task was a challenge. Keep or toss, that is the question. Hmmm.
It was like a growing process and a trip down memory lane. Deciding which of these memories are important enough to hang on to. Which ones didn't meet any of the requirements, in my mind, to make them valuable to keep? Things, such as, the cute little magnets that I picked up during vacations. Do you need the visual references to remember those times? If I toss them, when I am older and more forgetful, will I not remember? That's scary.
This is where the science project part comes into play. All of the little findings at the bottom of the drawer, pieces of this, parts of that. What is that and why in the hell did I keep it in the first place? Trying to figure out which went with what and which random parts were thrown into the bottom of the drawer just to confuse me? This is why the process takes so long. You have to stop and smile, remembering all the seemingly sane reasons that you decided to buy some of what I call crap now. Why did the muscle bound man magnet that says "Stop, step away from the refrigerator", seem so funny? Or the sparkly shiny fish? Must have been some sort of sub-conscious meaning. Fish? Water? Am I drowning? With great sorrow the man and the sparkles went in the good will box, never to grace the front of my refrigerator again. (Take a moment of silence.)
In the second drawer, I also found a mostly empty pack of cigarettes. I can't even remember how long they have been in there. In the old days, and not so along ago days, I used them when I was majorly stressed, which seems to most of the time. Them and alcohol. As I gently handle the pack, I remember how good it used to feel....to just sit....smoke....drink and ponder whatever was the stress's at the time. In my head, those three things, that sacred ritual, made me some how feel better. Also, the few, very few, people who knew of this ritual, left me completely alone. Most of the time, this was a good thing. Eventually, I tossed the partial pack in the garbage and bid them farewell. Another realization of some growth on my part. I still have stress moments, but I handle them differently now. I don't know if it is better, just different.
Amid all the sorting, wondering, tossing, cleaning and remembering I managed to get some other life things done. I did get to the gym a couple of times, I think that's good. Bought groceries. Have you ever noticed how unhappy people are at the store? I cooked dinner, twice in a row, to the shock of my husband. Worked my usual 40 hours and took a starting glance at the garage. (Reminder, need more totes.) All in all it was a constructive time off. The drawers are straight, clean and fairly empty. All of the tools are in a box in...yep, the garage. Talked with both the kids, played with the dogs, hung a couple of mirrors, shopped with my mom and glanced through a couple of new books I received. One on organizing (amazing) and one on happiness. Not that they go hand in hand, just keeping up with all of the ideas coming from the voices.
Back to work, and deciding what to organize next. Until later.

Turn Out The Lights!

First off, yes, it's a white Christmas tree. I know that it is a little tacky maybe, but, I like it. And yes, I put butterflies on it, red ones to be exact. And I like that too.

As usual for me, when I start a new endeavor, my brain races with a thousand other ideas that I should do. Heaven forbid if I only have one project at a time. All of the voices are constantly giving me the opinions of how to start, what to start, what to do first, how it should be done and so on. Each believing that they are more important than the others. All of them say they have all the angles on how I can do it all, and usually have me thinking, why not? Of course, I can do it all! After all, who do they think they are dealing with?

The one constant with all of them is that none of them tell me how to "complete" any one of the projects, let alone all of them. No suggestions of what would be the best way to stick with it or good strategies for completing any of them. The worse part is, they all know how I am. That I do have trouble with follow through and focus. That, when, I start one new task, I have an over whelming desire and need to start many. All of these great ideas are spewing out of my brain, and, in my opinion, they are all great and obviously need and should be done. Yep, all of them, all at the same time. That's what I do, I believe that I can and will do them all. The simple fact is, nobody, can do it all. A very sad realization that I am forced to come to grips with at times like this.

This time is no different. Once again, I have committed to several projects. This one, of course, signed up at the local gym, cooking and trying to eat more healthy, even raw once more. You would think that if you are eating raw, it would be simple. Nothing that is cooked, right? Nope, nothing is that simple! There is so much prep work if you want variety. Soaking this, marinading that, and then there is the dehydrating. It takes a couple of days to dehydrate most things. So, if you want variety, and believe me, you do, this takes fore thought, organization, and time. Anyway, back to the organizing.

My first task was the Christmas decorations, and get it done during my days off. I planned on getting them down and packed (neatly) away. I even went as far as to buy some of those large plastic totes, red for Christmas. I was very proud of myself, got the bins, starting packing, then I the other ideas starting creeping back into my brain. So I did what I always do, I stopped packing decorations and started making raw oatmeal and raw lasagna. I blame it all on my daughter, she is the vegan, and started this whole idea. I figured if I got all the prep work done, while it was all marinading and soaking, I would complete the original job of the decorations. And since I was trying to get this completed during my days off, I also had the usual chores to be done. The laundry, bills and housekeeping. Plus whatever other family stuff that comes up.

After long, long days off, I did finally get the Christmas decorations down and packed in my shiny red new bins, and put them out in the garage. Just barely in the garage, but technically they are out of the house and in the garage. (Which is another totally different project, at a later time.) The house looks bare, just like the tree after all the presents, that you worked so hard on wrapping, are gone from under it. All the lights off, the shiny objects put away, and the festive atmosphere gone. Strangely, I miss it. Not!

I feel good that I got my first task completed, finished. Yeah! Victory is mine. Now I have to decide on my next task. Should it be the closets? Pantry? Drawers? Guest bedroom (store room)? So many choices, it will be tough to decide. You will be the first to know.

And, in case you were wondering.......

The raw lasagna and oatmeat is complete and very tasty. The laundry done, along with the other usual house stuff. Not bad, undecorated, packed, cooking or non cooking, and I even managed to squeeze in a movie. A three hour one, Avatar. It was very good, but made me sad. And makes me think to be kinder and gentler with the world.